Castle Green has two hounds who are always shown to their best advantage--well groomed by the Hairdresser to the Hounds.
The eldest of the two, Hound Timothy belongs to the Green Goddess' eldest unmarried son, the Page of Coins (gold coins!) Hound Timothy mirrors the Page of Coins' somewhat obsessive attention to the hairdo, and basks in his coiff by the Hairdresser to the Hounds.
The other hound, Hound Eloise, belongs to the Green Goddess' three maiden chieftan daughters: Princess Joan of Arc (maiden warrior), Princess Artemis (maiden protectress) and Fairy Cupid (child of the light). Fairy Cupid and Hound Eloise are the same--only one comes in a human skin while the others pelt looks somewhat like a fox! There is nothing that Hound Eloise enjoys more than tormenting the Hairdresser to the Hounds on a Monday morning!`
Then there is, of course, the Dowager Duchess Hound Coco who has now returned to her Kingdom in the Sky. The Dowager Duchess was of royal lineage--and made it known! In earlier times the Beloved, Captain Carbon, spent his days working at the Castle of Gold Coins. When it so amused him, Captain Carbon would take the Dowager Duchess to work where she would be feted by noblemen and scorned by serfs as was her want.
The Hound Coco became a Dowager Duchess well before her dotage. By the age of three she was adored and adoring of the Dowager Queen (mother to the Green Goddess) and her respective relatives and ladies-in-waiting while, at the same time scorning Captain Carbon and all Car-Burettas--generally all men of heterosexual tendencies! She would show her displeasure by lying down with her bottom facing in their general direction!
Captain Carbon does have a naval friend, the Rear Commodore, who is of a different persuasion. The Rear Commodore worshipped at the feet of the noble Coco who treated him with royal graciousness.
On a recent visit to Castle Green, the Green Goddess asked the Hairdresser to the Hounds if he had fully recognized why the Goddess was so named. Without a beat, the Hairdresser to the Hounds stated it was because of THE GREEN DRESS--a robe that has become of mythical status in the eyes of the Hairdresser to the Hounds. A robe worn by the Green Goddess no more than a handful of times, not once in front of the Hairdresser to the Hounds, but still looming larger than life in his eyes.
The Green Goddess sometimes sighs while pouring the remains of the tea pot over her succulents (saving water) or carrying the vegetable scraps out to the compost bin (saving methane)--maybe the Dowager Duchess Coco's attitude to the bicepped sex had some merit!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
The Man of Letters and the Worm Farm
After the first flush of Spring, and perhaps into her "Indian Summer", the Green Goddess has discovered her own "comrad of the quill". The Goddess and her correspondent in the Faraway Verdant Isle, the Man of Letters, discuss high philosophical issues and prescribed texts. The Man of Letters is charged with the education of young noble men and women at an institution established in praise of the Famous Saxon Warlord. The battle drills and the jousting have been replaced, to some extent, by the acquiring of culture and the glory of rugby.
Although the Man of Letters resonates with the classic texts, it is with the issue of food waste that we have most recently corresponded. The Man of Letters did suggest to the powers that be that perhaps the keeping of pigs would be a practical solution to the issue of food waste from the dining halls. He was, however, stumped on two points: firstly the pigs required a licence to be farmed and a tax to be paid to the local feudal overlords; and secondly, the issue of what would happen to the pigs themselves as they bred or headed towards their dotage? Could they be eaten?
Now to the Man of Letters, the original vegetarian apiarist himself, this was not a solution! This is where the Green Goddess stepped in with a novel solution: a worm farm instead! No qualms about worms breeding or dying--just more of that wonderful earthy nectar, "worm juice", to compost the soil.
I think I can hear the Famous Saxon Warlord turn in his grave!
Although the Man of Letters resonates with the classic texts, it is with the issue of food waste that we have most recently corresponded. The Man of Letters did suggest to the powers that be that perhaps the keeping of pigs would be a practical solution to the issue of food waste from the dining halls. He was, however, stumped on two points: firstly the pigs required a licence to be farmed and a tax to be paid to the local feudal overlords; and secondly, the issue of what would happen to the pigs themselves as they bred or headed towards their dotage? Could they be eaten?
Now to the Man of Letters, the original vegetarian apiarist himself, this was not a solution! This is where the Green Goddess stepped in with a novel solution: a worm farm instead! No qualms about worms breeding or dying--just more of that wonderful earthy nectar, "worm juice", to compost the soil.
I think I can hear the Famous Saxon Warlord turn in his grave!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Captain Carbon and the Car-Burettas
The Beloved travels under may guises. Adrenelin courses through his veins. Battle-scarred from previous forays, he prefers now the thrill of the chariot race ie car racing.
Now, as you can well imagine, this car collecting thing does not sit well with the Green Goddess. Cars parked on the grass out the front of the house are bad for one's image--let alone the "bigfoot" problem (see previous blog).
The Beloved has a band of merry men with whom he thunders. Last week they went on a foray up to the estate of the Dowager Queen (mother of Green Goddess). Captain Carbon, as I lovingly call the Beloved, travels with his accomplises--the Car-Burettas! The Dowager Queen encourages this excercise--and hosted them at Dowager Castle. How fine, she commented, it was to see Captain Carbon roar up the drive leading the Car-Burettas--they sounded like thunder she proclaimed! I remarked that Captain Carbon had forgotten his resolve to tread upon this earth as lightly as a vegetarian apariast!
Captain Carbon was not going to take this lying down. He proclaimed that his red roaring stallion had a better carbon rating than my earthly goddess chariot--the Silver Volvo. I did point out that the Green Goddess, Earth Mother herself, had produced four children who needed to be transported around constantly for more earthly reasons.
Captain Carbon was in particular fine spirits this morning as he disappeared off into the distance riding his bicycle to work. He remarked, that he preferred to accumulate his carbon emissions for more adventurous journeys. He had that look of righteousness upon his face as he departed watching me step into the Hummer (as he now calls the silver chariot). Trailing behind him as he cycled down the road were the words that the Red Stallion V12 would make a more fuel efficient family car.
Looks like the Green Goddess needs to be wary of a snake in the grass!
Now, as you can well imagine, this car collecting thing does not sit well with the Green Goddess. Cars parked on the grass out the front of the house are bad for one's image--let alone the "bigfoot" problem (see previous blog).
The Beloved has a band of merry men with whom he thunders. Last week they went on a foray up to the estate of the Dowager Queen (mother of Green Goddess). Captain Carbon, as I lovingly call the Beloved, travels with his accomplises--the Car-Burettas! The Dowager Queen encourages this excercise--and hosted them at Dowager Castle. How fine, she commented, it was to see Captain Carbon roar up the drive leading the Car-Burettas--they sounded like thunder she proclaimed! I remarked that Captain Carbon had forgotten his resolve to tread upon this earth as lightly as a vegetarian apariast!
Captain Carbon was not going to take this lying down. He proclaimed that his red roaring stallion had a better carbon rating than my earthly goddess chariot--the Silver Volvo. I did point out that the Green Goddess, Earth Mother herself, had produced four children who needed to be transported around constantly for more earthly reasons.
Captain Carbon was in particular fine spirits this morning as he disappeared off into the distance riding his bicycle to work. He remarked, that he preferred to accumulate his carbon emissions for more adventurous journeys. He had that look of righteousness upon his face as he departed watching me step into the Hummer (as he now calls the silver chariot). Trailing behind him as he cycled down the road were the words that the Red Stallion V12 would make a more fuel efficient family car.
Looks like the Green Goddess needs to be wary of a snake in the grass!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Bigfoot and the Possum Insoles
The Beloved is into footprints. He treads with his mighty foot upon the battle fields of daily life with the step of a man well grounded. He does, however, leave a trail. But now, with his newfound zeal, he has determined to me, the Goddess of Green, that he will proceed with a lighter step. Ah ha! Despite the broad shoulders, and the arms like tree trunks--ready to take up a sword no lighter than William Wallace--the Beloved will walk gently upon this plane and reduce his carbon footprint!
Bigfoot is no more! I needed to find something to symbolize this moment. It was then that I knew what it had to be--possum insoles from New Zealand! I duly produced this perfect give--two brown furry items. The Beloved did not quite know what to do with them. Was it all that was needed was a piece of twine to join them together to cover the private parts front and back. This would solve many problems in one fell swoop--eliminate the need for insecticide infested, water thirsty cotton tainted by the aura of sweat shop labour in China--just the two possum fur bits to cover the family jewels. But no, I remonstrated, these were for the warriors boots to step forward with that light tread of a vegetarian apiarist. He put them in the boots and politely walked off into the battlefield of Monday morning with the look of righteousness about his countenance--or was it just the pinching in the toes!
I am not sure how often he would want to repeat such a march with such companions in the boots--let me see--I might just set off to procure twine to get in train the alternative.! Life at Castle Green is looking interesting!
Bigfoot is no more! I needed to find something to symbolize this moment. It was then that I knew what it had to be--possum insoles from New Zealand! I duly produced this perfect give--two brown furry items. The Beloved did not quite know what to do with them. Was it all that was needed was a piece of twine to join them together to cover the private parts front and back. This would solve many problems in one fell swoop--eliminate the need for insecticide infested, water thirsty cotton tainted by the aura of sweat shop labour in China--just the two possum fur bits to cover the family jewels. But no, I remonstrated, these were for the warriors boots to step forward with that light tread of a vegetarian apiarist. He put them in the boots and politely walked off into the battlefield of Monday morning with the look of righteousness about his countenance--or was it just the pinching in the toes!
I am not sure how often he would want to repeat such a march with such companions in the boots--let me see--I might just set off to procure twine to get in train the alternative.! Life at Castle Green is looking interesting!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
